18th
Archie Digested
Before we get into this week’s strip, it appears I’ve stumbled ass-backwards into a hot Archie scoop.
I recently visited the Archie website for the first time, curious to know more about Riverdale’s preeminent teens as expressed through the characters’ blogs. But when I clicked on Betty’s, I found the following farewell note from the now former site moderator, Patty:
July 3, 2008
Patty’s Farewell Post
Greetings to All My Friends here on the AC Blogs,
Rumors have been flying around Riverdale for several weeks now about me. People are wondering what I’m doing. It’s true, I am leaving Riverdale. :( The folks at Archie Comics Headquarters are getting some new people to run their website and blogs.
Don’t despair! This change has given me the chance to work on something brand new, which I’ve wanted to do for a very long time. The woman who has been seen around Riverdale with me is working on this new project, too. Her name is DK and – in case you’ve wondered – she has been helping Betty, Veronica, Archie, Jughead and Reggie write their blogs since they began back in December 2006.
DK and I would love for you to visit our brand new website called International Horse Club™! It won’t officially launch until Friday, July 4th, BUT we wanted to give you a sneak preview. If you love horses, I think you’ll really like our new site!
DK and I hope to see you there! DK will be writing fiction. And me? I’ll be your Fairy Blogmother, of course!
Patty
…of course, you can’t say she (via Betty) didn’t drop any hints prior to the big goodbye. Check this post from June 24:
I didn’t want to report this, bbs, but I guess I should. You know, Veronica and I went to Patty’s Open House Sunday. She wasn’t there (just the real estate agent) BUT we saw empty boxes in her garage. Packing. Boxes. We stuck around for a bit and eavesdropped; there were a lot of people there. I heard Patty was in South Carolina this weekend. Ron heard she was visiting a horse farm. I don’t know what she’s doing, but it looks like our Fairy Blogmother has something big in the works! More news as I get it…Stay tuned.
xoxoxoxo
Betty
Naturally, I contacted Patty through International Horse Club, the “premiere site for young horse lovers everywhere”, to find out what the hell was going on. Here’s what she had to say:
“In answer to your inquiry, I have greatly enjoyed working on the archiecomics.com website for the past nine years and I am very proud of the wholesome entertainment I have helped Archie Comics management deliver online to Archie Comics fans. Quite simply, however, an exciting opportunity to start a new website, ihorseclub.com, with my friends DK and Caron, focusing on horses, presented itself and I decided to pursue it. I am not sure who the new Archie Comics fairy blogmother is going to be. I assume Archie Comics will be announcing that soon.”
Archie Comics management has yet to respond to my inquiries. If you wish to send a pointed question of your own, click here. In the mean time, I’ve convinced FHaHB’s Rhiannon Brock to write a short think-piece on why little girls love horses so much (coming soon). Until then:
I *think* Archie’s Gag Bag (funny what a difference two n’s would make) is recycled from older issues, which would explain the dated illustrations. In this one-pager, the gang is helping Archie paint his parents’ garage. Betty is astonished that his folks could condone their unskilled (and unpaid) assistance, which is puzzling; I’d be like, “paint your own garage, dickhole.” The punchline, however, is all Jughead, who confuses “old” with “antique” and shows up in riding pants, tails, a tuxedo shirt and a top hat. The exact era of his ensemble is uncertain, but if the hat is indeed vintage, then it could date back as far as the late (or even mid) 19th Century. Of greater concern is Jug’s up-down brush motion, which is clearly not the way to do a surface with horizontal side panels (unless it’s the initial primer coat, in which case stroke direction wouldn’t really make a difference).
